We all have things we want but we don’t always get them. When this happens, we can can unleash some pretty harsh self-criticism that leaves us feeling deflated and in no hurry to try again. But what if the problem isn’t that we are useless and no good, and all the other horrid things we tells ourselves? What if it’s as simple as this – we’ve not been taught how to set good goals. How can we achieve a goal if it’s not set properly?
I think it’s safe to say, we’ve all been there. I’m no exception and share my experience of this in my blog, Therapist Truths: Failure and Success with Goals. Fortunately, we can break out of this cycle by following these five steps.
1. Get SMART.
First of all, we want to make sure we are covering the five key elements of good goal setting by making our goals SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-framed. Think of this as a way to integrate planning into goal-setting. The next four tips will cover some ways to make sure we’re checking off all of the five elements. If we’re not ticking them all off, chances are, the goal is too vague and we’re making it that much harder to succeed.
2. Break Your Goals Down.
We often set goals that sound something like, “I want to eat better,” “I want to get in shape” or “I want to be happier.” These are all fine conceptually but in practice, they are hard to achieve because they are vague and abstract. What does it mean to eat better, get in shape or be happier? When broken down, the goal around eating better may sound something like this: “I want to prepare and eat home-cooked meals Monday-Friday.”
This is now Specific and Measurable because you have a clear action aligned to eating better, and a way of measuring if you’ve done it – you either have, or haven’t. It’s also Time-framed because you’ve assigned set days to action this. To further Time-frame this, you could also specify how long you plan to continue this for.
3. Break Your Goals Down Again. And Again!
Once we’ve broken our broad goal down into one that is more Specific, we can break it down further to identify smaller steps. Think of this as a bit like having a project plan or following a recipe. Here, we list all the steps that we can take towards achieving this goal. The more Specific goal to prepare home-cooked meals Monday-Friday may be broken down into steps such as:
- Browse recipes on Friday
- Make a meal plan and list of ingredients on Saturday
- Go shopping on Sunday morning
- Batch cook on Sunday afternoon
Breaking this down into smaller actionable steps helps you do the prep needed over the weekend to set you up for the week. All being well, by following these steps, on Monday you can move straight into achieving your goals by eating your home-prepared food. All being not so well, you’ll find the steps take longer than you expected and you’re not Monday-ready. In this case, the steps need to be broken down again. For example:
- Spend 10-minutes over each lunch break browsing and choosing recipes
- Review chosen recipes and make a shopping list on Friday
- Get up early on Saturday to go shopping and avoid the queues
- Get up early Sunday to batch cook so the rest of the day is free
We’re always learning and adjusting as we go.
4. Problem-Solve and Troubleshoot.
Once we have clear goals, let’s be honest with ourselves about everything that’s going to get in the way of us achieving them. Here, we’re looking to focus on making sure the goal is Achievable and Realistic. Things have stopped us before and will stop us again. But if we know what they are, and we learn from our experiences, we can put strategies in place to manage this.
Give some though to what has stopped you achieving this goal, or something similar, before and what you can do to manage this. If you’re not a morning person, try scheduling actions for later in the day. If you find cooking boring, invite someone over to join you or listen to a podcast you enjoy.
5. Review Your Goals.
We can often fall into the trap of setting a goal, having the initial buzz from the intention to work towards it but then lose momentum when it comes to action. We can find that days, weeks or even months have passed us by and we’ve lost our focus. When you set a goal, set a Time-Frame for reviewing your progress with this goal. If you’ve not made the progress you want, repeat the initial 4 steps again to help get back on track. This helps keep you accountable.
Bonus Tip: Remember Why You Want This.
A goal should be set because it matters and it important to you. When you’re going through these five steps, keep in mind why you want to work on this, what is going to motivate you, and how you will feel once you’ve achieved this.
Ready to Get Started?
You don’t have to do it alone. The Go Get Your Goals workbook walks you a series of exercises designed to help you achieve your goal. With prompts to help you understand your motivators, quotes to inspire and worksheets for your actions and reviews, you’ll be set up as best you can be!
Updated Aug. 24.
